The Roller Coaster

Life is crazy.

Life is unpredictable.

Life is a horrifying, thrilling, enjoyable roller coaster. Mostly of emotions.

Life isn’t always fair.

Things happen to us that we can’t explain. We can’t explain why they happened, why they’re happening, or how they even happened. And it’s frustrating. It’s even more frustrating knowing you can’t do anything to change it. For some reason our flesh loves to be angry, sad, depressed, etc. but hardly ever is it easy to feel happy. Rarely do you feel angry, cheated, or depressed … but just a little bit! No, it’s always all or nothing. It can feel like you’re either completely drowning in your feelings or just ignoring them.

I’m moving across the world in under 4 months. I’m leaving everyone and anyone I’ve ever loved (except my family coming with me) and leaving them for a year or more. We don’t know yet. Ha, and my emotions are allllll over the place. It’s been a crazy ride, and it’s no where near over.

We lose loved ones, either they move or pass away, A parent loses their job, a number of things can and do go wrong. Wrong according to our own individual paths and charts we’ve thought and planned down to each gritty detail for our entire lives. It’s exhausting, but we feel productive. Proud even. Safe. Safe in knowing no one can touch this, no one can ruin my perfect life.


Yet one day you wake up to find a little bump coming in your path. You panic. You didn’t plan this! Where on earth has it come from? Just before you hit it you manage to soften the effects, lessening the tragedy of it all. You take a deep breath and try to relax. It’s over. Soon enough you forget about your little incident and go back to relishing in your perfectly perfect world. You’re invincible. Sure there’s little things like school, grades, and the usual sore thumbs, but it’s all part of it. And you know that. So when you start shooting straight up that track your heart starts racing. You can’t catch your breath. You can’t explain how this is happening. How you didn’t see it coming.
But more importantly you know what comes after you reach the top. You know you can’t balance at the point forever, and you know the drop is the worst part. When it comes you’ve only had seconds to prepare it feels like, you weren’t ready. And you weren’t ready because you didn’t plan for it. But then who would?


The thing about that drop is that it shakes you up. It shakes up your entire world, the one you created, and the one you live in. It reminds you that you don’t control everything. You don’t control to much really. It’s horrifying. It’s so scary to think that anything could happen right now, and I wouldn’t be ready. I wouldn’t be expecting it.

Just like any roller coaster you go on, you’re never the same after your first ride. As soon as you go down that first drop you can forget about it after time, but sooner or later you are going to go down another one. And it’ll be even more memorable than the last. Why? Because while you’re experiencing this new one, the memory of your previous one comes to you too. It reminds you that you still can’t control your life.


Life isn’t always fair, but it’s not always unfair.

Life is a crazy, awesome, exhilarating roller coaster. Mostly of emotions. Memories.

Life is unpredictable, but that’s all part of the adventure.

Life is crazy.

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