I honestly don’t know how to start.
I have a love/hate relationship with my writing. Because I can’t live without it, but I’m also a top notch procrastinator. Which is why I’ve written quite a lot, but I haven’t posted anything here in months.
A lot has happened since I was last on here, so much that it would take months upon months to go through it all. And then I would fall into a loop of being forever behind in updating this site with whatever is new in my life.
So I won’t do that.
I’ll just start “afresh”.
Hello, Madi Rose here. It’s been a hot second, and I’m ready to get to writing and posting on a schedule again.
It’s December 3rd, 3 days into my absolute favorite month of the entire year. My bedroom is decked out in strings of lights and decor, we got our tree last night so the house smells piney and oh so festive. My small (but growing) collection of festive pjs and sweaters has made it’s way into my closet, and I’m just a tad bit disappointed I can’t wear them to work. (sadness)
Which yes, for those of you who didn’t hear, I have a job! A little Japanese store called ‘Miniso’ in our local mall. It’s funny because I wouldn’t have ever thought to apply there if I hadn’t shopped at the Miniso in Changchun, China almost every week. It became a favorite spot of ours while living there, so to see that one was opening just 10 minutes away and hiring was mind boggling.
But, back to the time at hand.
(this post is scattered and will continue to be so, so bear with me. thanks)
December is my favorite month and makes me happy, because it’s literally all of my favorite things at once :
- Cold days and colder nights
- Sweater weather
- It’s totally acceptable to have blankets everywhere
- Hot Apple Cider + Hot Chocolate (with extra whipped cream)
- Gift shopping
- Wrapping said gifts
- Giving gifts (it makes me so so so happy)
- CHRISTMAS MUSIC
- Houses all decked out
- Christmas parties
Honestly just the overwhelming amount of happiness and coziness and lights and good food and yikes I could rant about Christmas all day so I’ll stop now.
I’m not too sure what I want to do with this space. I know that I don’t want to give up on it, I know that I don’t want to abandon it. I want to do something with it, I’m just not too sure what that is yet.
Maybe there will be some festive posts this month, maybe not. I’d like there to be.
This month I’ve decided I don’t care.
Or I’ve decided that I do care?
I’ve decided I don’t care that I care.
There we go.
Meaning, that I love the little things. Like gathering as a family to watch ‘Arthur Christmas’ one night while eating cookies, or decorating the tree with ornaments that I made in 1st grade. It’s what makes Christmas, Christmas.
I want to have an amazing Christmas. I want to spend a little more on gifts if I find something perfect for the people I love so dearly. I want to buy chocolates and wear silly sweaters as I grocery shop. I want to turn on Christmas lights every night as soon as the sun goes down, I want to take so many self indulgent photos of people, and everything happening. I want to paint my nails with sparkles, I want to wear dark lipstick and fancy dresses. I want to bake everything and anything that claims to taste like Christmas.
And life has been odd. It’s been wild. The last handful of years, the last handful of months, heck. Even the last handful of days have been crazy.
I don’t want any of that to ruin this time. Not because “It’s my Christmas and everything has to be perfect so let’s ignore all the bad or scary or uncomfortable things.” No, not that at all. I’d rather not be closing every night this week, I’d rather be at home watching movies and baking. But that just means the days will be festive. I don’t want the not so nice things to creep into the parties, into the tree decorating, or the movie watching.
Instead of moping and wishing things were “more perfect” I just want to fully embrace the perfect moments and soak them up. So I’ve decided that I don’t care. And that I do care. And that it’s okay.
… that probably doesn’t make any sense. But I’m not going to try to explain it anymore or else we’ll all forget who we are after reading/writing thousands of nonsensical words.
I’m aware I’m one of those people who take the whole “It’s the most wonderful time of the year” thing a little too far, and will end up never leaving their home after New Year’s other than to go to work. Because they literally can’t afford to do anything else but go to work. (that will 100% be me)
But I can’t help it. It is my favorite time of the year and I’m already wanting to send little gifts to friends for no reason in my day to day life, so now that I have a reason to buy gifts?
Here I gooooooooo..
So. Hello. I’m back. For a time. We’ll see how long this return lasts. (I tease I tease)
But, Merry Christmas! I hope you’re having a lovely December already. If you haven’t had your first Christmas treat, or strung up some lights, or hung a wreath yet, go do it! Embrace the season at least a little bit, because it’ll be over before you know it.
Talk Soon (hopefully!)
What to Expect in 2019: (at some point not January 1st)
- I like to write “poems” … I’m thinking of compiling them all into a “book” of sorts. I’m not too sure what that would like. *shrugs* It’s a project.
- Bi-weekly / Weekly posts
- A new site layout (hopefullyyyyyyy)